A Writerly Exercise

 

Created by Pauline in Canva

To set the story for you about how I’m feeling right now. First of all, my health is fine. I had a scare with some low blood sugar readings, which is being solved now. So, that is being addressed.

Have you ever been so wound up with concern and worry that you have unconsciously braced yourself for impact without really knowing that’s what you’ve been doing? I think that might have happened with me, just now.

It’s Saturday, and like any other day, my tasks are to write two articles today. I spread these around for this website, TalkingtoSpirit.com, my legacy website that’s been around since 2001, and my two writing platforms on Medium.com and Substack.com. I try to write in advance for future publication, which is nice. That way, I’m not faced with any “Do It TODAY deadlines”. I try.

During February and March of this year, I didn’t get a great deal of writing done because I was first worrying and then deep in the mire of financial sorting as I prepared our paperwork for our tax lady.

Even though it appears we didn’t make any money last year, we did not want. If this continues, well, we’ll see what life is like. For now? It’s fine. I’m accustomed to being poor. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever been much more than that. Why worry now?

The other thing was my blood sugar scare. I have not been able to sleep well for a very long time. I didn’t know why other than I am an older woman. I thought that was supposed to happen. I can remember my mother-in-law telling me she couldn’t sleep, and that’s what happens when you get old. Accompanying the sleeplessness were night sweats, sometimes brain fog, and sometimes dizziness, even to the point where I ricocheted off the walls as I made my way from our bedroom to the bathroom. Also, unsettling dreams. Altogether, I relied on naps in the afternoon to help when I got tired during the day. As I said, all this has been going on for a long time.

There was something else going on. It was the weather. We had a week of hot weather. It was in the 90s F, which would put it around 32°C. For years, the heat has bothered me. I swell up. My feet, my ankles, and my fingers. I also feel miserable. I was attributing my current round of being uncomfortable at night to this. It also always takes me a few days of cooler weather to get back to normal.

What happened a couple of weeks ago was that I woke in the wee hours. I think it was 2 or 3 am. I didn’t stay tossing and turning in bed but got up. I figured I might as well get something done rather than lying in my bed unable to go back to sleep. I could always have a nap the next day. However, I was slow. I was so slow that I noticed it. I mean, though, who wouldn’t be slow at 3 am? I took a blood sugar reading. It was low. It was 53. Now, that’s not too low, but, yes, it is low. A few days later, it was 44. Now, for me, that’s low. I had been told that when it hits 40, you’ll be in the hospital. So, yes, 44 was scary. This was at 5 am. I went into the kitchen. Time to eat.

I had a banana with sugar and milk. I tested again at 5:25 am, and my blood sugar had risen to 53. I went back to bed, and some three hours later, my blood sugar had risen to 120.

The progression with a low blood sugar episode is to either shovel a couple of teaspoons of sugar in your mouth, have some glucose tablets (I couldn't find mine), or suck on some Life Savers (I wonder if that's why they are called that?). You test ten minutes later. If you are not yet up to 70, then you repeat step one. Test again ten minutes later. If you are up to 70, you need to have something with both carbohydrates and protein in it for a sustained higher blood sugar. Cheese and crackers or a ham sandwich does the trick.

Then, it happened the next day. That was the day I awakened at 3 am. My blood sugar was 37. I couldn’t believe it. I fumbled my diabetes monitor and couldn’t get it to come back on again. I fumbled the strips that go into the monitor. This is me on a blood sugar low. Fumbling, fuzzy, just not with the program. I’m thinking to myself that by rights, I should be dead at 37. I was able to calm down and took another sample of my blood (just a drop) for another test, and ten minutes after being 37, it rose to 44. I had not eaten a thing. What was going on? Was my monitor broken? I went into the kitchen and ate something. Twenty-five minutes later, at 3:45 am, my blood sugar had risen to 64. I went back to bed, and when I got up at 7:20 am, I tested at 150. So, things were fine.

This is when I began putting the pieces together, and since Google is my friend, I went there first. There is something called nocturnal hypoglycemia, generally between the hours of 2 am and 4 am. That is when I thought to myself, “Could this have been happening to me for all this time?” I’m talking years.

I contacted my doctor the next day. She wants bloodwork and labs done, which I’ll do in a week or so. I stopped one of my nighttime medicines on her advice yesterday, and you know what? I didn’t wake up at all last night. I slept easily through the entire night. Could you say I am relieved? Yes. I am. As the results from my labs reach her, there will be a discussion about altering some of my medicines, but I am relieved.

Could this, coupled with the relief of having done our part in our taxes, be contributing to my off mood this morning? I think so. It’s the only thing I can think of.

So, what do I do about it? Sit here and watch cartoons (that would be a movie or stuff on YouTube).

No. I want a solution. Who better to experiment on than yourself? As a writer, I need to stay in touch with my own feelings, at least that’s what I’ve always thought. As a psychic, I also need to stay in touch with myself. Why? Well, to be the best writer and the best psychic I can be.

So, what is the solution? Wait it out? Eventually, I will feel better?

No, I want something quicker than that. What the solution is going to be, I just don’t know. Waving a magic wand around would be nice, but I don’t have a magic wand. I could have another cup of coffee, I suppose. Maybe, if I were to just go out on my patio to enjoy the morning air and sun, and maybe read my current book (space adventure – Craig A. Falconer – The Earthburst Saga). Yes, I think that’s the ticket. Which brings me to another book. I haven’t read it in a long time, Focusing by Eugene Gendlin. My body just sighed. My body just gave a little. That’s what focusing does. You ask yourself what’s wrong. You have this silly little conversation with yourself about what’s wrong. Then, you go relax. I mean, you could lie down on your bed if you wanted to. You drift a little and let your body tell you what’s wrong. How do you know it’s the right thing? Your body just relaxes. Read the book, and you’ll figure it out. 

Thanks for reading. I appreciate the support. I’ve listed a bunch of places where I am on the internet.  

🌺 Pauline Evanosky

🌺My Links:

Talking To Spirit — my website
Talking To Spirit on Substack

Pauline Evanosky on Medium
Talking To Spirit on Substack

Pauline Evanosky — my author’s website

My Table of Contents for Medium — Updated Monthly
My Table of Contents for Substack — Also Updated Monthly

Facebook

References I recommend on your path to more psychic awareness from TalkingtoSpirit.com

🌺Donate Here On PayPal🌺