The Choices We Make

 

Sometimes you recognize the pivotal moment when you know the choice you make is going to be the big one. Sometimes, the realization comes slowly.

I’ve had a few life-changing moments in my life. One was when I met my husband. It was a wham-bam moment that you rarely hear about. We’ve been married 49 years. Of course, there have been ups and downs, but we made a commitment to each other. He can still make me laugh. That was a good choice.

I know of one other couple who had a moment like that. The wife was a friend of my mother. The husband, like my own father, was gone to war. It was a place called Schilling Manor in Kansas. It was 1969. I can remember in July when a man walked on the moon. I was fixing my hair in the bathroom and was listening to the radio when Neil Armstrong said, "That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind."

The place is no longer there, having been absorbed by the town of Salina. It was where the women and children went when their fathers were deployed to places the families could not follow. No men. This was also back in the day when it was mostly men in the military services. But I’d heard that Mrs. Powell met her husband one week and they were married the next. I’d call that a pivotal moment. They also had a ton of kids.

There were five kids in my family, but I think that my mother’s friend’s family numbered seven kids or so. We would all pile in station wagons and make our way to swimming hole Number 3. A section was roped off for us, and that’s where we would swim.

I went to two high schools that year. One was North High School. I was there for about two or three weeks. It was too crowded, so they moved a bunch of us to South High School, and that was where I completed 9^th grade. In two schools.

I almost didn’t go to Germany. I was enrolled for my freshman year at a community college in Richmond, Virginia. My family was going to Germany. I had three hours to make the decision to ditch my plans for school and accompany my family to Germany. I’d actually never wanted to go there. It turned out well because that’s where I met my husband. Could we have run into each other some other place? I don’t think so. Three hours to make that decision. Married, now, for 49 years. Another good choice.

Once, we were watching fireworks at Berchtesgaden, Germany. The snow was packed. Hundreds of people in the crowd. Somewhere ahead of us, some people were setting off Roman rockets. I put my head down. I don’t know why. The rocket hit me on the top of my head. I was wearing a hat. I stumbled but did not fall. My husband caught me. Had my head been up, I’m sure I would have been blinded. Interestingly, nobody believed that I’d been hit by a Roman rocket. My hat wasn’t even singed. That was a doozy of a moment. Moments like that, you can really believe in your guardian angel.

Another time, in Germany again, my husband and I were driving in winter. It was cold outside, and the roads were fine. Wet, but fine. We approached a bridge and learned the hard way that the road surface on bridges freezes faster than pavement because of all the cold air underneath. Our Volkswagen bug began to spin in a circle once we were on the bridge. Luckily, there was no traffic behind us or oncoming traffic. It was just us going into a 360° circle in our little blue bug. I can remember thinking I was going to die. I was okay with it. There were no life scenes flashing before my eyes. I just knew that I was ready to die. We were fine and continued driving, but at a whole lot slower pace.

A lot of the choices I made didn’t seem to be large or pivotal at the time. I suppose this is where it is good to have a habit of making good choices. For instance, I would not put much faith in the choices an alcoholic makes. Most of them are driven by the need to be drunk. Just saying.

Anyway, I think the best practice is to pay attention to what you are doing. Don’t be afraid to change your mind and to move to Plan B. The point is to keep trying.

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Love, 
🌺 Pauline Evanosky

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